Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Refresh My Soul

"I'm physically ok, but my soul has been killed." That was my answer to the migration office' officer at the end of our meeting, when she asked me how are you feeling now?

Yesterday, I had the toughest interview at the migration office to state the reasons that made me seek asylum in Sweden. I had a flash back to everything in my life till the current moment. I relived my childhood, my teenage years, my high school, my college, my writings, my friends, my love for journalism, my job at the newspaper, practicing journalism in Yemen, reporting on social and cultural topics, the beginning of the revolution, going to demonstrate at the change square, blogging about the revolution, blogging about politics, blogging about Saleh, the threats, violations against journalists and activists, my and all Yemenis' agony, the current humanitartin crisis in the country, my decision to seek asylum, reuters interview, the hate comments i got, the threats, my inner shock about everything happening with me, the pressure to go on or stop, the longing to Yemen, the feeling of home sick, the migration office ,,,,,,,, etc.

I've always resisted to be weak, because it was a losing option in Yemen. I knew that I had no protection from no one. I knew that I must be strong to fight back. Today, I acknowledge that I'm human being and it's alright if I feel weak. I shall be strong once again but for the time being I'm with a dead soul. I have to refresh my soul today.. actually I'm.